Skip to main content

My Stomach Wanna Act Up on a Holiday Weekend? Not Today, Satan!Intro:

My Stomach Wanna Act Up on a Holiday Weekend? Not Today, Satan!

Intro:

It’s officially Holiday Weekend Vibes—the kind where your phone is blowing up with cookout invites, your playlist is ready, and the menu just dropped with everything from ribs to red velvet cupcakes. But guess who decided to make a surprise appearance? My stomach. Yes, my very own digestive system is trying to sabotage my BBQ blessings. Fix it, Jesus!

The Drama:

You ever wake up excited for potato salad and corn on the cob, only to be met with cramps, bubbling sounds, and betrayal from within? My stomach picked the wrong weekend to start performing. It's giving drama, it's giving sabotage, it's giving “you ain't eating nothing spicy today.” Meanwhile, my auntie just texted saying she made that mac and cheese with four cheeses and a mystery blend. LORD.

The Cookout Countdown:

How am I supposed to stand in line for a burger when I’m clutching my Pepto Bismol like it’s a handbag? The group chat is lit with updates on who’s bringing what:

  • Deviled eggs? Check.
  • Baked beans? Double check.
  • Pineapple upside-down cake? Say less.

And here I am Googling “how to calm your stomach down in 12 hours or less.”

The Prayer:

Dear God, I’ve been good. I recycled. I minded my business. I didn’t even argue with that one cousin last week. Please don’t let me miss out on this feast. Give me strength, peace, and a plate. Amen.

Final Thoughts:

To everyone else battling stomach issues this weekend—I see you. Whether it was that gas station snack, too much dairy, or just life hating on you, know that you’re not alone. But one thing’s for sure, we will not let our stomachs keep us from the table. We came for coleslaw and crab legs, not excuses.

Hashtags:
#HolidayWeekend #StomachIssues #CookoutDrama #FixItJesus #NotTodaySatan #BBQBlockedBlessings #StomachOnStrike


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

🍿 Once Upon a Time in Beverly Hills (minus some ladies)

🍿 Once Upon a Time in Beverly Hills (minus some ladies) RHOBH used to be about glitz, glam, drama, and personalities with something to lose — or gain. At its peak, it had chaotic friendships, sparkling wardrobes, back-room blowups, and a twisted sense of loyalty. But lately? It’s beginning to feel less like “Real Housewives” and more like “Real House-of-Cards.” And this season — with the exit of Garcelle Beauvais — might just prove it. Garcelle wasn’t just another cast member. She was one of the few who seemed to bring a bit of heart and a dash of backbone to the chaos. And yet — after five seasons — she walked. Dramatically. Without a reunion photo. Without apologies. Saying bluntly, “I’m done.” Sweetheart, same. So yes — I’m done too. 🔥 Why I’m Ready to Drop the “Housewives” Label 1. Loyalty isn’t a thing anymore — it’s a sales pitch It used to be that friendships on RHOBH were messy and flawed but lived-in. Back-stage back-ups, side alliances, shady calls, bu...
Post a Comment
Read more

Reality TV, Redemption & Receipts: What Are You Signing Up For?

Reality TV, Redemption & Receipts: What Are You Signing Up For? When you say yes to reality TV, what are you really saying yes to? Former two-time America’s Next Top Model contestant Lisa D'Amato is speaking out ahead of the Netflix documentary Reality Check: Inside America’s Next Top Model, and baby… it’s giving unfinished business. And if you’re someone dreaming of going on reality TV (and I know you love writing about reality shows and how to get cast 👀), this conversation matters. Let’s break this down — and ask the real questions. Why Watch the Documentary at All? Lisa says she’ll be watching the Netflix documentary — but not for nostalgia. She wants to see how the experiences are edited. That word right there: edited. Because when you film a reality show, you don’t own the narrative. The producers do. She’s concerned the stories may be “softened.” That trauma might be packaged neatly. That accountability might feel… polished. So here’s the first question: 👉 ...
Post a Comment
Read more

How to Get Emergency Pizza from Domino’s: What You Need to Know

How to Get Emergency Pizza from Domino’s: What You Need to Know Sometimes, life throws unexpected challenges your way—like a surprise visit from friends, a late-night craving, or running out of dinner options. That’s when Domino’s “Emergency Pizza” offer comes in handy. Here's what you need to know about claiming your slice of salvation. --- What Is Domino’s Emergency Pizza? Domino’s Emergency Pizza is a promotion designed to help customers who find themselves in a pinch. It's essentially a free medium two-topping pizza that can be redeemed when you need it most. Whether you're hosting a last-minute party or simply forgot to meal prep, Domino’s has you covered. --- How to Qualify for Emergency Pizza To take advantage of this deal, you need to meet a few simple criteria: 1. Make a Qualifying Purchase You must place an order of at least $7.99 online or through the Domino’s app. This purchase activates your eligibility for the Emergency Pizza offer. 2. Sign Up or Log In Create...
Post a Comment
Read more